Is life some sort of test that I must persevere in? Must I battle on, ensuring I hold on to determination and hope? To come out victorious, is that what I should do? If so, kill me now, for I do care about getting the pride to my name.
I see this now, God. I really do. What you fling to me time and time again. But my foundations are slowing slipping, slowly wavering – on the brink of collapse.
I will be able to stand no longer if you keep thrashing me with these all. For I know, I shall become an empty vessel cascading down this current of black sands.
These currents push down on me as I try to claw myself out. For a moment or two, the world mourns for the fact that I am drowning.
Another test, God?
I do not want persevere this time.
I try wading out, I try pushing back against this current but all I do is further plunder deeper and deeper.
My essence is leaving me.
I have awaited eagerly for this day for the time when an external sleep washes over me…an abode where none can awaken me.